Transition

Few days after my marriage got fixed, and before I got engaged to my then fiancee, (now husband Ashok), I was talking to him over phone when he came up with some topic.

Wake up call:

He told me that, my then to-be in-laws would be more than happy if I had in future started addressing them Amma & Appa (mom and dad in Kannada) since my relationship with them would be more than just an "aunty & uncle" one, although it wasn't a condition :). So, I stumbled a bit and then told him, that, I would start addressing them that way after engagement. I was quite sure that, my husband would inform them in tact. However, my in-laws never mentioned about it during any of our conversations. I still don't know why I replied in that manner. Nor did I analyze that deeply, like - was I rude, was it because I wasn't matured enough, was it too late after engagement to start addressing them in that way or was it my way of procrastinating the wake up call etc. Well, I guess, most of the girls do come across similar situation, at least if not the same way.

My fiancee and I got engaged. My father-in-law just said casually - "Engagement is over" and didn't say anything. I could quickly understand why he said so and I said - "Yes, I remember my promise (uncle - swallowed) :)". But how to keep up my promise was a million-dollar question. I was comfortable addressing them aunty & uncle. Also, I found it embarrassing, funny, weird, and every odd feeling to start addressing somebody Amma Appa one fine day. Though I was aware that this situation would come up one day in my life, and it was inevitable for any girl, I wasn't prepared for the transition so soon.

The transition:

Version 1.0

Well, I stopped addressing them Aunt and Uncle after getting engaged. But it didn't mean, I had started following the new way. I didn't address them at all for a week or 10 days. More precisely, I neither mentioned aunty & uncle nor Amma & Appa while conversing with them. I found it quite eccentric. But this was again with a purpose. Most importantly, I felt, if I did this, then a day would come when I unknowingly addressed them in the new way.

Version 1.1

Thankfully it didn't take too long for the transition, despite the initial hiccups and few embarrassing moments. My in-laws were kind enough to understand my position and gave me time to get adjusted to the new way, thanks to them. My mother-in-law at one stage even mentioned that, I could stick to my old way if I really had difficulty.

Version 1.2

No doubt, I started addressing them the way they liked, but, it was difficult for me to stick to the new way of addressing in front of my own parents. For few more days, I followed Goto -> version 1.0 when I was around both my parents and in-laws.

The Release

After release, which not really implies marriage, more or less with the passing of time, I came to terms with the new way of addressing. Now, I am glad to say that, it comes naturally with no pause, hiccup, or hesitation :).

Mantra:

Today, I feel, the new addressing method adds a great value to the relationship. In general, I attribute the success of the release to both the girl and the in-laws. The bride must be inclined to get along with her new family. At the same time, in-laws should be patient enough to understand and provide some latitude to their daughters-in-law along the journey :).